Its been a long week

Its been long as hell this week. Raeshawn birthday was the 12th, his party was the 14th, i had this and that going on, and tonight, my world came crashing down around me.
I just smoked a nice huge blunt. I dont even care that im on probation, or that I had been clean for 4 months and it hadnt even bothered me. I dont know. Last night i posted a bulletin about how i had such a good night, how i had enjoyed myself spending the night with my family eating popcorn and watching movies, and then had a good time alone with my husband. Tonight im high as a kite with puffy eyes crying to almost a complete stranger, sipping on my pepsi smoking a newport and trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
I had plans to go out tonight with my girlfriend. My husband told me it was okay yesterday. Now, I come home from seeing my p.o today, and i decided to take a nap till it was time for me to get ready. I wake up, to him telling me that when i get home tonight we need to talk. Then he starts yelling at me saying i delete my myspace messages (GROW UP AND STOP CHECKIN BEHIND ME) and when i tell him im not, he go into this big blah blah blah about how he checks the history and he can see things are deleted blah blah. I told him im not deleting them, he calls me a liar, and we get into a screamin match for 20 minutes. I finally lay back down, and wake up 20 minutes later with, You cant go out tonight i got to go to jr house. He need me. For what? To watch him and his girl argue all night?? To get drunk as hell and not make it the fuck home till the day, as usual? What? The last time i went out was my girl aleens birthday back in february. Its been 2 months since i been out, its been 2 days since he been out. You gotta be kidding me. So I go to call kelly and tell her why i aint coming out tonight, and he grabs the phone from me and bangs on her. Calls his other cousin, and then throws the phone back at me. I gets done making dinner and i go back upstairs, and this negro is packing his fuckin bag with all his clothes!! Im like, what the fuck just happened? It went from talking when i get home to you packin your bags in 0.2 seconds.. What did i miss?
So after 3 hours of smart ass remarks to him, and taking the keys and him takin them back, to him throwing some tree i was breaking up into the damn air so that was 5$ down the drain. Oh yeah, and breaking my brand new 30$ cdman because i told him i didnt want him to take it.
Mind you, I have an appointment in the morning to get this lump on my throat checked out. It took me a long ass time to get this appointment. I could have had throat cancer for the last 4 months and wouldnt know it, cuz i aint care enough to go to the doctors. Now i finally have an appoinment, and you decide to leave me the night before? what the fuck? Oh, and a 200$$$$$ Focus group tomorrow night, that pays CASH. Asshole. And idiot. I hope im dying so he can feel like an asshole.
Now my head hurts. So now you all know, why i needed to smoke a blunt. Im going to bed. After i make something to eat. You know a bitch got the munchies.